I look like death, no joke. I would take a day off, but I'm hesitant about tainting an unblemished attendance record. If we're being completely honest here, it's probably never gonna happen. Noope. Not if I can help it!
I must take after my ancient greco-roman art history professor back at Purdue. Everyone called him the KFC guy because I guess he looks just like him, only slightly chubbier—and with more apparent pudding jowls. I've always thought he could've made a pretty convincing Santa too. He's at the ambiguous age of 70 going on 80 and, to my knowledge, has never called for a sub. Not sure if you'd call it dedication or stubbornness. Maybe it's a dash of both.